


Frustrations

by Dottieunderwood



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:43:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dottieunderwood/pseuds/Dottieunderwood
Summary: Stubborn jane ramos tries to resist her feelings for petra





	Frustrations

The second she kissed petra jane knew that it would have its repercussions, ironically with both employers too. What she _hadn't_  expected though was for petra to kiss her back. For aggressive ill-tempered straight girl petra to pull her in by the waist and kiss back with twice the hunger anyone ever has. It threw her off. Then she might have decided toying with petra was the most entertaining way to check if she really was into her. Unnecessary teasing here and there that only escaped her mouth for the sole purpose of wanting to see petra blush again. It was really a sight to see, the little shy smile, the laughter that threatened to bubble out and her doe eyes that somehow looked even bigger and more innocent like some schoolgirl's. It made jane's breath quicken and felt a little too fuzzy in the insides for her taste- that's when the sirens in her head blared. Jane, like most lesbians, has fell for a straight woman before. Now out of all the less than ideal situations she's been in that definitely ranked high up in the list, so she refused to make the same mistake twice. Refused to be some bored woman's plaything then get thrown away once she realized it was a phase or whatever bullshit excuse they had for getting rid of her. It broke her heart once and she had enough anger pent up in her never to repeat it. That's why she resisted for as long as she could. But then she owed petra to stick by her side, to protect her from whatever danger she had brought to her and her daughters because god knows if it was her in petra's shoes and it was her own mother on the line she would vow never to forgive the person responsible. So here, now? She vowed never to let that happen to petra. Except this was the core of the problem: the more time she spent with petra the more she... grew fond of her. Felt comfortable in her company, longed for it even. So she got as distant as their situation would allow, deciding to focus on the investigation and forming a solid plan instead because the sooner this was over with the sooner she can escape with her sanity. It was only the undeniable guilt and the gut wrenching pain and confusion in petra's eyes that made her feelings spiral back out of control. Her heart clenched at the thought of her in pain- especially that if she twisted it in her mind enough she was easily the one to blame. It killed her from the inside out, ate at her like an insect feasting on rotten flesh. So facing the fact that any attempt at avoiding her feelings would go south either way, she decided to take shelter in the normal aspects of their relationship, in the less-real realm of things like lighthearted banter and little remarks that sent a thrill down her spine. Subtle enough to make them pull words out of each other, but not enough to hide the obvious lust. Except that's when it became apparent that petra had a big fat crush on her and suddenly her own feelings weren't the ones that scared her the most. The night they slept together jane stayed up till petra dozed off, nails digging on the flesh of her palms to resist the urge of stroking golden locks and soft flesh. There was a line here, and crossing it meant she was willing to take the next step with petra. She mulled over that for the next half hour knowing perfectly well how even thinking of this in the first place already meant defeat. ' _So line be damned',_  they won't remember this when sun was up. Except she woke up with her whole arm draped over petra, panic replacing the tiredness on her eyes. She retracted it like her skin was hot coal and went for a cool shower, hoping to god she'd be able to slip out before petra woke up. Then the frustration of trying to hinder her feelings for petra overcame her ability to think of anything else. The real jane would have found a way to fix this case already, so using counter-productiveness as an excuse she yielded to her feelings but god it felt so horrifying to let herself be so vulnerable again. Then a fling became everyday cheek pecks, then the playful flirting that led to kisses that hid something that was more than simple dirty selfish desire underneath. After that they made a habit of meeting up for lunch in petra's suite and the guards downstairs started recognizing her. Petra's assistant's eyes even gleamed when she saw them together. Until jane eventually met the twins, who've much to petra's dismay have taken to calling her mommy (although all three noticed the way her cheeks flushed a light pink every time that happened) Jane was getting sucked up into her life, finding family in a place she never should've ventured. It terrified her that she surrendered to this so easily, but only a fool would reject petra's trust and wholehearted loyalty, and jane ramos was no fool.

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning on a longer version exploring jane's head more accurately but it's becoming a habit to postpone whatever i write to a few hours before the ep airs.


End file.
